Twenty Seven Years of tolerance- a tribute to a loving wife!

I was being very honest when I said steamy. Anybody who has spent a summer in Salem will vouch for that. I do not know why we had the wedding that punishing summer, when we could have done it in salubrious Bangalore. But then there are some customs amongst the Syrian Christians. Unfortunately Salem had no Syrian Christian Church and naturally no priest. Unlike the Catholics, the average Syrian Christian goes through the business of confessing to a priest only at the time of their wedding and if lucky just before they die. With great reluctance I decided to confess my sins of bachelorhood to an imported father (from Kerala), in a rented Church, on the morning of the day. The priest was a merciful man. He asked me to just think of all the sins I might have committed over the last 28 years and ask God for forgiveness. Now! That can be a laborious process- recalling the indiscretions of more than two decades. I did some rewinds and fast forwards on what I perceived could be construed as sins by the Orthodox Syrian Church. Unlike several other priests, he was not interested in the salacious details of my adolescence- it saved me the blushes.  And thus I was rendered ‘pure’ and in a state of grace, ready to accept my communion and my new bride. At 40⁰ centigrade the normal 3 hour wedding service seemed like eternity. It was truly an act of contrition for my bachelor days! If you were waiting to hear about my first night, you will be surprised to know that we spent most of it looking for my missing father in law in the Hotel we were staying in. He had crept into one of the several rooms that were booked for the bride’s family and went to sleep- while everybody searched high and low. My worried wife and I sat outside our honeymoon suite awaiting news. They found him snoring in a room at dawn!

Bini spent the first two years of our married life in Bangalore completing her studies and I taught and practiced in Salem. We met over the weekends keeping alive a marriage that remained fresh by virtue of distance. She later joined me in our practice and became my father’s protégé and inheritor of his dental practice. I taught, traveled and limited my clinical work to my specialty, maxillofacial surgery- which was convenient. It has been a good 27 years with Bini. She took control of things. The loving mother of our two wonderful girls. The new daughter to my parents. The purse strings of our modest resources. Our cheer leader. My critic and conscience keeper. Our occasional cook (thankfully!). The spiritual motivator who left me to my own beliefs. Our social manager. Our accountant and fiscal planner. My designated driver (after parties). Our public relations expert. Our holiday planner and side seat driver. My confidant and hand holder. My writing censor.

She allowed me my privileges. The TV remote. The weekend binges.  To call a spade a spade. To fight my battles. To lick my own wounds without rubbing it in.

The shy and reticent Bangalore girl who transformed into a street smart, multi-tasking small town house wife and professional was exactly what the doctor ordered.  She balanced life with great grace, taking care to always make me feel like the boss. She became the friend of my friends. She reformed me in the limited ways that wild guys can be reformed. She has made my life a worthy one. She was always there for me through good times and some bad patches. She is the love of my life. She is the wind under my wings.

She has approved this message!

George

26^th April, Wedding Anniversary and day of marital recollections!